Skits - the reason why most of us are here.

AT: DAMN YOU CULLENS!!
Twi: Hmm, does that seem ironic to you?
Pix: No, why?
Twi: I swear, didn't Edward say something similar.
B*B: *snort* Why would he say "Damn you Cullens?"
Winnie: I don't know.
Jag: When do you ever know?
Winnie: I know I'm about to punch you.
rapidreader: Okay, no fighting.
Twi: We have to plan a revenge against the Cullens!!
Jag: Oreo their cars?
Twi: I'm disappointed in you, Jag. I expected more from you.
Jag: Humph. *pouts*
Twi: Now, think!

Meanwhile...
Alice: Phew! That was a close one!
Jasper: Tell me about it.
Esme: Where have you two been?
Alice: Heh, no where.
Esme: Alice...
Jasper: Wow, am I tired. Better hit the hay.
Esme: We don't sleep!
Jasper: Hmm, then maybe I'm just trying to avoid this conversation.
Esme: Alice, tell me!
Alice: We went for toilet paper.
Esme: We don't use the bathroom either!
Alice: Decoration?
Esme: ALICE!
Alice: Fine, fine, we destroyed CFG and CFB headquarters.
Esme: *high starts twitching*
Alice: Esme?
Esme: *high twitching*
Alice: Esme? Esme! Snap out of it!
Esme: YOU ARE PREVOKING A WAR AGAINST THEM?!

Me: So, now I'm gunna get revenge on you whilst sitting here in the CGP headquarters that you destroyed with a laptop.
Esme: Just forgive her, she's only a child *stands protectively in front of Alice.*
Me: No, she destroyed our headquarters. Alice, we have taken all the light sabers in the world. You need them to be a sith lord. We have hidden them where you will never find them, and will not get them back until you and Jasper clean up all the mess you made, and do some other stuff for us.
Alice: NOOOOOOO!

Alice: *sobs* and now? my life has lost direction...

Jasper: oh dear... i feel with you... do you want my knife? *takes out broken, taped knife*

Knife: NO! not again! *jumps on the ground and walks away mumbling* why, WHY do such
things ALWAYS happen to me?... why didn't i listen to my mom? 'knifee' she said 'learn something proper!' but NOO, i wanted to become a star and ended in the SKITS thread! IN THE SKITS THREAD!!!.... *mumble*

Alice and Jasper: *watch Knife going away*

Jasper: Knifee... is... gone... again! *bursts into tears*

Alice: Yay! no we can cry together! my laser sabers! my laser saber are away!

Jasper: KNIFEEEEE!

Alice: LASER SABERS!



CFG's and CFB's: *fly in helicopter over the Cullen headquarter*
JS: they seem pretty sad...
Twi: you don't really feel with them, do you?
JS: hey, look at them! have they really desevered this?
Everyone: uhm, yes!
Js: i don't agree.
Everyone:
Jag: *jostles JS out of the Helicopter*




on the ground, with Alice and Jasper

Alice: Laser Saber!

Jasper: KNIFEEE!

JS: *falls* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *bounds on the ground* ouch.

Alice: *looks up* what was that? *looks around* *notices JS* REVENGE!






Just skip me if you don't like it!

so... teg, for all i care... if you want to be included ýou could do something that helps me...


In Volterra
*phone rings*
Aro: *takes out phone* yeah?
Carlisle: Aro? we have a problem.
Aro: *sighs* Again?
Carlisle: why again? when did we phone you the last time?
Aro: oh... nevermind. so what's the matter?
Carlisle: uhm, well... we need your help i think.
Aro: *sighs* Again?
Carlisle: why again? when did we need your help the last time?
Heidi: think we beat about the bush... *sighs* Again.
Carlisle: Okay, let's get to the point. we have a little-bitty war at the moment...
Aro: *sighs* Again?
Heidi:
Carlisle: yeah... and we need your help. we must defeat our enemies. Alice is already crazy about fighting and you know what happens when she is dissapointed.
Aro: Okay. how many soldiers do you need?
Carlisle: Uhm, i don't really know! as many as you do without. our enemies are strong.
Aro: Okay. i'll send them over. oh, BTW, who are the enemies?
Carlisle: i don't think that you wanna know...
Aro: TELL ME!
Carlisle: *inscrutable mumbling*
Aro: I didn't understand.
carlisle: the CFP's
Aro: WTH??? THE CFP'S????
Carlisle: uhm... yes....
Tegan: WHAT??? YOU SEND SOLDIERS TO FIGHT MY FRIENDS??? DON'T YOU DARE!!!!
Aro: oh tegan... my only love... of course i won't send soldiers to fight them...
Tegan: *taps foot* but..?
Aro: but... :idea: to help them! we will support them!
Tegan: YESSS...
Carlisle: NOOOOOO!

Sorry but what the hell does CFP stand for? Crazy Fan... People?

Wait a moment.. did I just accidentally reread JS's skit or did it actually repeat itself...? Ah, it did repeat itself and I think I'm beginning to hate the word "again." As a question that is...

Twi: *taps foot on the floor*
Carlisle: Our own side?!
Aro: Hmmm, good thought.
Tegan: Damn straight!
Twi: *ahem*
Tegan: What, darling Twi? ...TWI!
Twi: Yes, yes, I'm here.
Aro: What are you doing here?
Twi: I'm here to help you defeat the CFP (again, what does this mean?)
Carlisle: Brilliant! But why are you going to help defeat them? You are one of them!
Twi: Pffft, no I'm not. They've been driving me up the wall lately!
Tegan: o.O Okay then... we create our own side.
Aro: Let's get planning.
Carlisle: No, no, a proper side has a name for itself.
Aro: What are you on about?
Carlisle: A team name!
Aro: Didn't catch that.
Carlisle: A NAME, YOU DIM-WIT!
Aro: Ah, a name.
Tegan: I can't believe you just called my lover a fucking dim-wit!
Twi: Oi! No fighting. We are a team here...

Sorry, it's late and I'm tired and I'm just recovering from hyperness. And for some reason, I had to continue to fight the urge to curse every other word. I don't know why... I mean, sure, I curse but not every word. It's odd, don't ask.

*whispering*
AT: Wow!
*whispering*
Sits: Oooooooh.
*whispering*
PB: Oh my...
*whispering*
Pix: Cool.
*whispering*
Cambz: Me likey.
*whispering*
Jag: Shush, I thought I heard something...
*whispering silence*

Ben: Well, if you're all going to be like that, I think I'll just go join the Cullens or the Volturi. Who to pick...eany, meany, miney, moe...aw heck, I'll just join the Volturi cos Teg and Twi are cool and appreciate genius.

Aro: We need to rescue Carlisle.
Heidi: We need a distraction then.
Twi: Well, the CFPs are planning to rescue JS, so we could use that.
Teg: Perfect.
Aro: Just as my beautiful Tegan said.

I'm going to completely make something off the top of my head... and it's going to have a bit of Breaking Dawn spoilers in there...

Loch Ness Monster: *walks in the room*
Jacob: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! EVERYONE RUN FOR THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!
LNM: Jake, m'love? Why are you running from me?
Jacob: YOU- YOU- YOU'RE THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!
LNM: *creepy stare* I'm your soulmate and we're supposed to be together forever. I even have naughty dreams about you occasionally...
...
...
Hehe
Jacob: Erm... *gag*
LNM: *continues creepy stare with weird smile* Here. Let me touch your cheek so I can show you all the memories I had of us in my dream. Watch it, though, it gets a bit, heh, *eye twitch* dirrrrty. *eye twitch* *gurgle*
Jacob: Oh my freaking god. Why is your hand all slimey? That's disgusting!
LNM: You love it, don't you.
Jacob: Not really.
LNM: Yes. Yes, you do. You love every minute of it. *touches cheek with slimey hand*
Jacob: *flash of memories*
Bella: *walks in* Oh, Nessie!!! I love you so much! Jacob? Jacob?! Carlisle! Quick, get in here!
Carlisle: *examines Jacob* I think he has gone into a state of shock.
Bella: What caused this?
Carlisle: Usually, it is from a series of disturbing pictures or scenes.
Bella: Hmm, I wonder what happened to him.
Jacob:
LNM: Oh, my poor Jacob. *eye twitch* *eye twitch* *gurgle* *hiccup*

Awe. Man. Our skits thread is like dead...

Okay here is a skit I made alongg time ago

Host: Introducing Mr.Mike Newton.

*Bella and Alice are watching Dearly Beloved. A show where people talk about their feelings to people who they think are their true loves.*

Bella: Mike Newton? Are you kidding me?
Alice: *laughs* He's from Forks right? Rose?
Rosalie: *comes into living room and sees Mike on T.V* What the hell is he doing on television?
Bella: No idea...
Alice: *has vision* Holy crap.
Bella & Rose: What?
Alice: *evil grin* Just watch.
*they watch*
Mike: I am here to talk about the love of my life.
Bella: Please say Jess. Please say-
Mike: Bella Swan.
Bella: Damn. Why me?
Mike: I've known Bella for a really long time now. We were a couple so to say.
Bella: Excuse me? WHAT?
Mike: She was taken half way through the school year by an Edward Cullen.
Alice: Oh for God's Sake!
Rosalie: How low can he get?
Mike: I coped through the remaining three years. But after graduation she disappeared.
Bella: Did I now?
Mike: I have been persuing her. Researching everything about the Cullen's. Even had a spy-
Rosalie: So that's who that was.
*Bella & Alice turn to her*
Alice: What?
Rosalie: Some guy came looking for Edward. Emmett slammed the door in his face. I think Em broke his nose.
*they laugh*
Mike: The spy came back with a broken nose and nothing to link me to Edward. There is no trace of Bella. She has been taken by something. Something that doesn't exist.
Bella: He's not something. He's someone. By the name of Edward Cullen. Who I HAVE MARRIED. God Mike.
Mike: I believe she the victim of a vampire.
Bella: I'm a victim alright *rolls her eyes*
Mike: So now I've become *he rips off his shirt* A VAMPIRE HUNTER.
Alice: Damn. Are you kidding me?
Bella: Oh man.
Rosalie: *laughs* What a loser...

guys...We should start a new skits thread or something
I really miss them
and no one posts anymore
we should just start over

Yeah. I really miss them

They made me happy

I know...I got nothin though
writers block

Me neither.

Pfft. GUYS *waves hands*
What happened to all our skitzers?

PEOPLE! darnit!
someone come on here and get a skit started!

*nods*

Pwease...

PLEASE!