I'm going to go against my strict one-skit-going-at-a-time policy and start a different skit
a) because I already wrote it
b) because anything that involves people who arne't characters makes my skin crawl
keep in mind that I haven't written a skit in at least a couple months, so it may not quite live up to my "good ol' days" of hot-headed Jaggy glory.
Narrator: One sunny day in the summertime, the Cullen ranch is abuzz with all the-
Bull: *tears through and knocks narrator down*
Narrator: HEY!
Edward: *riding bull* WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Narrator: What the-
Giant Chicken(GC): *stomps through*
Jasper: *riding giant chicken* ‘SCUSE ME, COMIN’ THROUGH!
Narrator: Oh, um, no, that’s fin-
Giant Four-Legged Rock (Rock): *ambles by*
Narrator: O-0
Emmett: *riding four-legged rock* FASTERRRRRRRRRR!
Rock: Hmph. >(
Narrator: Well, the Cullen ranch is, erm, abuzz with the-
Saber-Toothed Tiger(Tiger): *leaps through*
Carlisle: *riding tiger* GODAMMIT, BOYS, I TOLD YOU TO STOP RACING!!
Edward: *still riding* *in the distance* WOOOOOOOOHOOOHOOOOOOOO!
Narrator: Ughhh….I quit. *throws down microphone*
Cameraman: Me too, these foo’s are crazy. -_-
Bella: *stomps out in front of Edward with hands on hips*
Bull: *rears up*
Edward: BELLA! Get outta mah way, we’re racing!
Bella: Edward, I’ve decided that you and me are gonna spend some quality time holding hands and walking in the sunlight with the breeze blowing through our hair. You need to start spending some more time with me. Lets go.
Edward: Ew. I mean, um, uh, sounds great. But I’m in the middle of a race, just lemme win real quick.
GC: *speeds by*
Jasper: *riding GC* SO LONG SUCKAAAAAAAAAA!
Edward: Dammit!
Bull: Meow.
Bella: I will not wait, we’re going now so we can develop our relationship and strengthen our love, dammit!
Edward: *sigh* Alright…
Bull: Meow.
Bella: Good, lets g-did that bull just meow?
Edward: Yeah, um, he ate a cat the other day and he won’t stop meowing. You get used to it.
Bella: He ate a cat? Why…
Edward: I couldn’t find any bull-food, and Rosalie’s cat was just lying there, so I thought it would work.
Tiger: *screeches to a stop next to the Bull*
Bull: Meow.
Tiger: O-0 WDF…
Carlisle: Damn you kids. *stomps off muttering*
Rosalie: *runs out* Where is fluffy? I CAN’T FIND MY FLUFFY!
Rock: *stops* Meh.
Emmett: *jumps off rock* I’m right here, baby!
Rosalie: Ew, not you.
Emmett: *sniff*
Rosalie: I can’t find my frickin cat. -_-
Edward: *cough*
Bull: Meow.
Rosalie: Edward, did your bull just meow? O-0
Edward: Yeah, um, it’s a condition. Its been spreading around…a lot….um, locally….
Rosalie: -_-
Edward: Um, *cough*…meow. SEE? I think I got it to…*shuffles feet*
Alice: OMFG! WERE ALL GONNA GET EDWARDS BULLS STRANGE MEOWING DISEASE! RUN FER YOUR LIVES! *runs around in circles, screaming*
Edward: No, Alice! Its fake-um, I mean, its only contagious…to…eh, males.
Alice: *suddenly calm* Oh ok, that’s fine then. : >
Bull: Meow.
Emmett: Meowing disease? Since when-
Edward: *shifty* ME AND BELLA ARE GOING TO GO EXCHANGE OUR LOVE IN THE SUNLIGHT. LATER! *grabs Bella’s hand and runs off*
Bella: Yey! XD
Bull: *burps*
Rosalie: Hey, where is Carlisle’s Tiger?
Bull: *growls*
Emmett: o.o There is something strange up with Edward’s bull.
Bull: *dives to eat rock, hits tooth* OUCH!
Rock: Don’t touch me, woman.
Bull: O-0 *hiccup*
Emmett: NO! YOU TRIED TO EAT MAH ROCK! *dives at bull*
Bull: *opens mouth and swallows Emmett*
Emmett: *is swallowed*
Bull: Meow.
Rosalie: Oh no, Emmett! Mrh, oh well. Where is my cat? *sniff*
Bull: *sneaks up behind Alice*
Alice: *picking daisies* Humm dee hummm.
Bull: *burp*
Alice: *turns around* Wtf…
Bull: *swallows Alice*
To be continued…*scary music*…
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