Quote Skitz

Subject: Quote Skitz Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:39 pm

Well, you probably guessed it. The aim of this threwad is to invent mini skitz that include a quote for the day from BD. Here's a couple of examples to get you going. They're not brilliant, but it's a start:

The Cullens are feasting on some bears. Alice and Edward both get up and see there is only one bear left...
Alice: "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors."
Edward: "Why don't you just tell me who wins?"
Alice: "I do. Excellent."

Bella: "Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You’re not taking him to a strip club, are you?"
Jasper: "Hell no, we're going to a gay bar!"

Bella: "Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You’re not taking him to a strip club, are you?"
Jasper: "Yeah, but don't tell Edward. It's gunna be funny watching him try and resist...and I'm not talking about the smell Wink

!"
Bella:

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Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:57 am

Edit by Ben: Yey, my first reply, I was worried no-one was going to post here.

Okay, I'll have a try. Razz

Mike: "Bella, I love you, but...we can't be together! I'm a vampire!" *bares fangs*
Bella: "Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

And another one:

Tanya: "Ah, Edward. I've missed you."
Edward: "I've missed you too, my love!"
Tanya: "What about Bella??"
Edward: "Her? She ran off with Brad Pitt."
Tanya: "Oh, that makes sense."

Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:07 pm

Ben bahahha your too are hilerious the ones about the bacholor and rotflmao seriously well done....hahahhahah
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Bibbity Bobbity Boo

Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:23 pm

1. Mike: "I finally realized that you and me won't work out."
Bella: "Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

2. Charlie: "Bells, we're up to bat."
Bella: OMGZ, Dad! I didn't know you we're a vampire too!!
Charlie: -stares strangely-
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College Site Thing

Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:43 pm

Edward: "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."
Jasper: "Oi, watch your lip to ma bitch or I'm gunna pop a cap in yaw ass!"

Bella: "Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"
Mike: "Well, you could always run away with me..."
Bella: "Peh, hell no."
Mike: "You don't appreciate me" *runs away crying*
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Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:04 pm

1. Bella: “Why am I covered in feathers?”
Alice: "Because, feathers are cool!!"
Bella: "Alice that still doesn't explain it."
Rosalie: "Bella, just shut up! It's all part of the illusion!"
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College Site Thing

Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:36 am

Bella: "Why am I covered in feathers?"
Edward: "Well, if you will fall into a pillow machine..."

Bella: "Why am I covered in feathers?"
Alice: "Ehm, we were hoping you would know that."

Alice: "No one will dare to call you plain when I'm through with you."
Bella: "Only because they're afraid you'll suck their blood."
Alice: "Meh, my point still stands."

Alice: "No one will dare to call you plain when I'm through with you."
Bella: "Only because they're afraid you'll suck their blood."
Alice: "Well they should be, we're planning to do that murder the villagers idea you had at the prom, except do it at the wedding reception."
Bella: O.O
Alice: "Oh don't worry, we're gunna take some prisoners for you to have after we change you."
Bella: "Phew, that's OK then, I thought I was gunna miss all the fun."

Edward: "Forever." *Bites Bella.
Five minutes later, Bella lies dead on the bed...
Edward: "Oops."

Or the alternate version...

Edward: "Forever." *Bites Bella.
Five minutes later, Bella lies dead on the bed...
Edward: "Oops."
Emmett: "Aw, man, you did it again."
Edward: "Shut up."
Emmett: "That's the 5th one. You're useless at this."
Edward: "Shut up or I'll make you!"
Emmett: "Oooo, scary."
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Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:10 am

Renee: “Alice wouldn’t let us do anything else. Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out.”
Edward: "But, I thought that you were on your anniversary trip. How did Alice have anything to do with that?"
Bella: "Edward, don't ask questions."
Renee: "I know!!!"
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College Site Thing

Subject: Re: Quote Skitz Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:43 pm

Edward: "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."
Bella: "Er, no Edward, shut up please, I need my beauty sleep."

Bella: "Hey Rosalie, can I borrow your dress?"
Rosalie: "Over my pile of ashes."

*Alice and Bella walk in and high five, then see that Edward is watching them*
Edward: "You look so guilty-like you've committed a crime."
Bella: *Pulls off balaclava and wraps it around the bloody knife behind her back*
Alice: *Pushes swag bag behind her* "Whatever makes you say that?"

Sam: "This is not something our treaty anticipated. This is a danger to every human in the area."
Jasper: "I can't understand. I can't bear this."
*They look over at Jacob and Edward dancing around dressed as women*

Bella: "Edward, I just got more death threats from the wolves, the Denali clan and the Volturi. That last one says they want to beat me to death. Why does everyone want to kill me?"
Edward: *About to answer, but is interrupted*
Emmett: "Well, Bella, if you think about it, most of us want you dead too."
Rosalie: "I'd like to beat you dead."
Emmett: "Er, darling, that's not what I...never mind."

Seth: "You'll hurt her. Let her go."
Leah: "Seth, it's a doll..."
Seth: "Yeah, but it's my favourite Barbie!"

Edward: "Isn't venom meant to cure medical problems?"
Carlisle: "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome."
*They both look at Bella, the freshly changed vampire who is sat on the floor grinning like a loon and hitting herself repeatedly over the head with a frying pan*

I'm beginning to think the quote skitz aren't that popular. This is the third time I've edited this post to save double posting, lmao.
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